| Put
yourself on your child's level. Kneel, squat down,
lay across his bed, lean toward him. This
communicates "I want to know more about you."
Maintain good eye
contact. Have you ever talked with someone whose
eyes seem to be looking at everything in the room but
you? How did that make you feel? That is not
something you want your kids to experience with you.
Watch your child.
Learn to read her non-verbal behavior: posture, body
movements, and gestures. Notice frowns, smiles,
and raised eyebrows. Listen to voice quality and pitch,
emphasis, pauses, and inflections. The way in
which your child says something can tell you more than
what she is actually saying.
Actively give your child
non-verbal feedback. Nod. Smile. Raise your
eyebrows. Look surprised. These small signals mean
more than you realize. They'll encourage your
child to open up even more and let you into his life.
The last step
to listening is speaking. But, before you give
your response, restate in your own words what you
heard. This questioning to clarify proves that you
were listening, and it gives the child the opportunity
to say "Yes, that's it exactly" or "No,
what I really mean is this..." Remember, the
goal of communication is understanding. |
